My Review

This book is linked with the post No. 8: Trading Places

I am always skeptical of books that claim to be the definitive guide to anything, particularly things related to psychology or relationships (the one exception being the DSM IV). So when I read that the editors believe this book holds “the secret” to a better marriage, I wasn’t buying it. But after reading it, I can say (without a hint of skepticism) that it actually works, and the difference is immediate.

The secret share is empathy, the ability to experience things the way another person does. It’s not sympathy, which is more akin to being with someone as they experience, but involves trying to actively assume their perspective as best you can. The promise is simple: the better you understand your spouse’s perspective, let them know that you understand, and react based on that understanding, the better her response will be.

On top of the effective and practical advice, the Parrotts are enjoyable to read, and very easy to read quickly — I bought this on a Thursday and finished it Friday. The book is full of anecdotes from couples they’ve interacted with an from their own lives. Definitely worth picking up if you think you could stand to have a better relationship with your spouse.

Genre

Relationships

From the back cover

To understand your spouse you’ve got to walk in his or her shoes. Ever feel like you’re stepping on each other’s toes? Then maybe it’s time you put yourselves in each other’s shoes. Of course that may sound uncomfortable. But it’s easier than you think—and it will revolutionize your relationship. In fact, bestselling authors Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott reveal the little-known secrets of putting the time-tested strategy of trading places to work in your own marriage. In this book, chock-full of practical helps and tips you’ve never thought of, you’ll learn the three-step-strategy to trading places and, as a result, you’re sure to:

* Increase your levels of passion
* Bolster your commitment
* Eliminate nagging
* Short-circuit conflict
* Double your laughter
* Forgive more quickly
* Talk more intimately

This book also features a powerful, free online assessment that instantly improves your inclination to trade places. Most couples never discover the rewards of trading places. For example, did you know it’s the quickest way to get your own needs met? It’s true! And Les and Leslie show you how. They also disclose exactly how trading places improves your conversations and how it’s guaranteed to fire up your sex life. Truly, your love life and your entire marriage will never be the same after you learn the intimate dance of trading places. Also available in unabridged audio CD edition