My son is sick, so my wife stayed home tonight while I went to praise team practice at the church. While I was gone she watched Wife Swap. Tonight’s episode swapped a very conservative Christian family with a very liberal Christian family. In my trade mark fashion I will refer to them as “Connie” and “Libby”…you figure out which is which.
Connie is a stay-at-home mom, six kids (if I counted right). Libby works and her husband is a stay-at-home dad, 2 girls. I’m going to watch the episode as soon as I can find it somewhere online, but this is one situation related to me by my wife:
Connie’s children don’t date. Her philosophy is that young teens aren’t ready to make a serious (read: “lifelong”) commitment, so there’s no reason to date. Libby has no such rule.
When Connie sits down with Libby’s girls to discuss dating, she says, “This is what I believe about dating…What do you think?” When given the opportunity to think about it, one of the girls says that it makes a lot of sense. Over at Connie’s house, Libby has told her oldest girls that they have to go speed dating. They refused.
Libby got upset and started telling them that they weren’t thinking for themselves. Their response: “The fact that we agree with our parents doesn’t mean we aren’t thinking for ourselves.” Apparently they had to say this several times, but never got through to her.
What I see here is a tendency that I’ve seen over and over in liberals/progressives: anyone who disagrees with them is closed-minded or not thinking for himself, or simply can’t see through the haze of their own indoctrination. Libby repeatedly accused Connie’s husband of brainwashing his kids, then tried to do so herself (and was rebuffed – by the kids). She tried to force her beliefs on that family, and when they wouldn’t accept them, she cried foul.
But if you really want people to think for themselves, you’re going to have to accept that a great many of them will disagree with you. That’s just the way it goes. Now, I understand that no good progressive believes that a young person can come to a conservative point of view without being “indoctrinated” by her parents or the church or some other foreboding institution, but it happens.
One of the other things I recognize in this episode that I’ve seen quite a bit elsewhere, is that progressives have a sweeping right to accuse conservatives of nearly anything, while being socially immune to such accusations themselves. You can accuse a conservative parent of brainwashing their kids (which is generally known as “teaching” or, you know…”parenting”), but cannot be accused of same, even though it’s painfully obvious. You can accuse conservative Christians of ignoring parts of the Bible or taking them out of context while blatantly doing the same. It’s really tiresome.
So, with all of that said, here’s the hard part for me: I have to somehow learn to love Libby and her husband and all the people like them, because in God’s eyes, I’m no better.
Tell her she shouldn't watch that crap. Watched scripted television! Scripted television!
Ryan
We only watch scripted shows on DVD, you know that.
Charles
True. But wife swap is an inherently stupid premise. They don't try to find people who will coexist peacefully. The whole point of the that show is to stir the pot and see what happens. They screen for people who won't get along.
What I'm saying is, it is not a good barometer for how liberals and conservatives act. Plus it is an inherently unreal situation anyway. In real life, wives like that wouldn't swap. The kids have no incentive to listen the swapped wives anyway, as everyone knows the whole thing is an artifice and that the real mothers will soon be returning to their rightful homes.
I do see and understand the point that you are making, though.
I just hate "reality" television. Except for the Gauntlet Real World Road Rules Challenge. That show rocks.
Ryan
I used to like Road Rules until they went to Australia.
And I wouldn't think of it as a good barometer, but more like a real-life caricature of things I've already noticed. Those same things are out there about conservatives…I'm sure there are some in this episode; I haven't seen it yet.
Alex did comment that the liberal family had a rhythm and things seemed to work for them. I just think it's a great example of how the push for "tolerance" doesn't usually include conservative viewpoints.
Charles
Dude – Don't confuse bad parenting with a liberal mindset!
Mike
I saw that episode. To me it goes beyond liberal and conservative both in their own ways can be closed minded but come on that parent was totally brain washing his kids and would not even let his girls think for themselves in terms of career goals and you can tell that one girl he took away for a "trip" in the fan was not comfortable with the life she was living. I don't believe giving kids choices(healthy of course) is brainwashing. That man was raising his girls to be nothing but "good little housewives" and again I can tell that one girl wanted more to her life than that. I see nothing wrong with being conservative though I am not one but this was a little extreme and I would not want to marry a woman who had those kind of views.
emorgan
Giving your kids healthy choices is not brainwashing, but what do you call it when you try to discourage other people's kids from logical and healthy viewpoints, while pushing them towards something that they and their parents feel is unhealthy?
I don't know that encouraging people, especially teens (who really aren't thinking of marriage) to date a lot and "just have fun" is healthy. In fact, I think it's unhealthy. Especially when those kids aren't yours, and you know their parents disagree with you.
I don't know about the "trip" (did you mean "in the van"?), or about their views on the role of women, so you'll have to explain the "good little housewives" thing; how did he encourage that mindset, and was it an option or an expectation?
Charles
I really hope you got a chance to see this. The father is brainwashing his children. He literally sits in front of the camera and says this. Then he goes on to lie to his children when “Libby” tells the children he said that. He takes Columbia away because she’s starting to think about having a career. But she also wants to have a family and home-school her children. She can be a fantastic conservative Christian, even if she wants a job. She’s a good girl! It’s quite obvious she is torn. I just wish we could have seen what he said to that girl when he took her away.
I do hope you watch this episode. The whole point of the show is to introduce other people to your views. They shouldn’t accept the opportunity if they aren’t interested in that. The women are to live up to the rules of the household for the first week and then they get to make their own. “Connie” as you call her had her own rules that the liberal family was supposed to follow as well. “Libby” was not trying to force her beliefs on the conservative family any more than “Connie was. She was upset that the father was brainwashing his children (once again he actually stated this on camera) and not allowing them to have a life outside of cooking and cleaning. Having your children wait to date is completely understandable. Forcing them to wait until they are of marrying age to date is a little overboard. How are you to know what you want in a mate if you don’t meet and spend time with anyone of the other sex? If you believe God has a mate for you, that’s great. But like “Libby” stated, a mate doesn’t just magically appear. You know what happens when you don’t know what you want from a mate? Divorce. I’ve been there, I see it everywhere. Or perhaps you’re with someone that you realize you aren’t as compatible with as you thought you were, but now it’s too late. You’re married and there’s no room for divorce, or you may just feel ashamed and live with your unhappiness for the rest of your life.
It’s wonderful to have your own beliefs, and I support that. But the father of the conservative family was reminiscent of a cult leader to me, something “Connie” continued to refer to when she heard things like how the liberal family allows their daughters to think for themselves.
Rebecca