Hol(e)y Cynicism

I’m usually a pessimist, but sometimes I just can’t not believe. I try to ignore it, but the optimism just forces its way out. Fortunately, I can hide it pretty well. You’d never know that I secretly believe I can get to Hollywood on American Idol (singing “If I Ever Fall In Love” by Shai), or that if i worked out for a year I could get a spot in the NBDL (at 29 years old).

The real problem is when something which has been traditionally though of as impossible suddenly seems within my ability. This has only happened twice, but the conversations were tough. Both ended with me saying, “I know it’s impossible, I just refuse to accept it.”

And in both cases the other person responded by shrugging and saying, “Okay.” It came out more like, “Whatever.” the first was a conversation about evaluating teachers based on student performance. I had an answer for every objection:

• Not fair to compare one school to another? You’re right. The comparisons will all be internal.
• What if the teacher is a WASP, and the kids are black and latino? If the teacher doesn’t connect, maybe she should be with WASPy kids.
• Bad year, hard lives, major events? Four year rolling averages, compare to student’s previous years, home interviews.

“I know it’s impossible, I just refuse to accept it.”

“Okay…”

The second was a conversation with a co-worker about school reform. He did quite a bit of research on DC charter schools when he worked for a District PAC several years ago, and saw a lot of good things. when we talked I pointed out that the success of charter schools is not replicable on the larger level of national public schooling.

Charter schools, along with every alternative schooling option (Montessori, Regio Emilia, Classical, etc.) will succeed because of three consistent factors:

• small classes
• dedicated & internally motivated teachers
• highly involved parents

With these things present no other factor matters (there are, of course, exceptions). But these things will not be present on the larger level. My concern is how we can change the system so that class size, teacher dedication, and socioeconomic status don’t matter; so that any motivated student can succeed.

He suggested many options that ranged from charters to open competition, but all ended with the same problem: once the system has been in place, the good schools will fill and we’ll be left with a bunch of students who are disinterested or couldn’t get in, and a bunch of teachers who are disinterested or couldn’t get jobs there. Those kids will need teachers. What do we do then.

“I know it’s impossible, I just refuse to accept it.”

“Okay…”

These were both embarrassing situations because my hope was showing…and there’s nothing more uncool than a hopeful grad student. We’re tested for cynicism at all times.

My cynicism has holes in it. Read more about it at The Incomplete Cynic